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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082656">Pushing Too Hard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phurtershep/pseuds/Phurtershep'>Phurtershep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>OMORI (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Mari (OMORI) Lives, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:26:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082656</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phurtershep/pseuds/Phurtershep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mari always pushed herself too hard.</p><p>The night before the recital, she pushed her older brother.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Basil/Sunny (OMORI), Hero/Mari (OMORI)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>305</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. What She Did</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"I KNOW I'M NOT FUCKING PERFECT SUNNY!" Mari yelled, tears streaming down her face. Sunny stood silently. Why did he never answer these things? Did he just not care? All this stupid recital crap was for him! All of it! Why didn't he care?! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stepped up the stairs slowly, the same iron expression he always had on his face. Her hands curled into fists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to be okay, Mari.” He said, reaching the top of the staircase and reaching out his right hand, his left nursing his bleeding nose from where she'd hit him with the violin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“GO AWAY!” she yelled, trying to make a break past him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sunny moved in the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time in five years, Mari saw what her brother’s face looked like when he was afraid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hit the stairs with a crunch, tumbling down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why… why was there red on the stairs?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How long had Hero been standing there?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked afraid of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did she just do? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“M-Mari…?” Hero said, “Did… Did you just kill him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sunny wasn’t moving. He had to be asleep, right? She’d just… drag him up to bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She continued down the stairs, reaching down to touch him when Hero dragged her away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t. Please... Don’t kill him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He needs rest.” Mari said, her voice unusually monotone even to her. Hero’s eyes… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t touch him, I’m… I’m going to call an ambulance. Please… Just don’t touch him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mari stood in silence above her brother, a pool of his blood slowly growing from his skull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was already dead, wasn't he?</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Red. Blue. Red. Blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over and over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt like her eyes had glazed over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was supposed to be their night, their first performance together...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunny had already had his fair share of Violin recitals, either solo or with Aubrey, Basil and Kel. They called themselves a garage band, but… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much for that now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her parents didn’t allow her to ride in the ambulance with him, her and Hero staying with the Desotos while they waited for everything to boil over. Aubrey and Kel rushed over, Basil not far behind. Hero… Hero didn’t say that Mari pushed him, just that he had a bad fall. A really bad fall. How much was he present for? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was lying by omission for her, yet he sat on the opposite side of the couch. When she tried to scooch closer to him, he looked terrified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kept her distance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She brought up her knees to her chest, like she’d seen Sunny do sometimes. The other three were talking about something, the specifics of she wasn’t sure, but she was near certain they were talking about who should stay with her and Hero and who should go wait in the hospital for Sunny. Eventually, Aubrey and Kel sat down with them, with Basil zipping up his sweater and leaving. Maybe her suspicions of Sunny and Basil dating weren’t unfounded…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Basil…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d despise her for what she did if he knew the truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aubrey and Kel would too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or, they’d be terrified of her like Hero was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who wouldn’t be terrified of a murderer?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if Sunny lived, there was a significant chance he wouldn’t have, that he was dead right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you two doing alright?” Kel asked, “You… you both found him, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mari and Hero silently nodded, neither looking at the other. They both knew what happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything’s going to be okay, guys.” Aubrey said, leaning over and hugging Mari. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mari pushed Aubrey away, her own tears starting to fall now. She looked hurt, but… more than that she looked concerned. She felt Aubrey’s hand rest on her shoulder, she didn’t bother to remove it. Hero was almost shaking. Was the adrenaline finally hitting him? The phone ringing drew Kel’s attention, and he stood up to grab it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Kel said. Mari saw the muscles on his back tense up. “Alright, I’ll… Yeah. See you soon Mrs. Suzuki.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood in silence for a few moments, before turning to the other three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have something to tell you guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone went pale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… not as bad as it could have been. He’s alive… but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But what?” Aubrey asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They aren’t sure if he’ll make it entirely, or if he’ll wake up at all. He... his head took a lot of damage. Thankfully, they said the bleeding wasn't from his brain, but there's still a risk of internal bleeding they're looking for. Bruising on the rest of his body and his left leg is fractured, but that isn’t the part they’re worried about..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t kill Sunny instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She made him have to suffer more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her sobs became heavier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Hero. Can… Can you help me make something for everyone?” Kel asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hero silently nodded, standing up from the couch almost too quickly. He followed his brother out into the kitchen, not even turning back to face Mari. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was surrounded by people, yet she felt alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She deserved to feel alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She threw a fucking violin at Sunny, hitting him in the nose with it even, but his first idea was to try and console her. Why was she thinking he didn’t care in the moment? He was always like that… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ran through what happened before in her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunny stood behind her, watching over silently as she played, matching the tempo with his violin. She… kept screwing up. All these piano lessons, all this teaching, and her fingers just couldn’t hit the right keys when it mattered. So many motions at once was just too much like this. Sunny had let her choose the song, why did she pick one so difficult? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did she blame him for her own choice?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After one screw up too many, one too many times where Sunny said, “Let’s do that part again.” Calmly, smoothly. She hated it. She envied the fact that he was okay with her mistakes, that he didn’t mind as much as she did. Each accidental press of a wrong key felt like a nail was being driven into her back, especially so soon before the recital. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when he said it, the thing that set her off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can delay the recital if you want, you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was earnest, an offer to let her feel more confident before they performed…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But in the moment it sounded like an insult, like he knew she wasn’t good enough to be worth being on the same stage as. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A mistake, like all the others she’d made.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her body shook with each sob, her lacking the strength to fight back against Aubrey’s embrace. She should enjoy it now, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When… </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> , Sunny woke up… he’d surely tell the truth about what happened, and she’d never feel this kind of love again. Not from Hero, not from Sunny, not from any of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Welcome to Black Space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Monsters like you belong here.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Black Space, White Space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mari and Sunny have varying internal worlds, and different lives outside of them as well.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Monster had spent the last week or so inside Black Space, staring into the mirror. There was nothing else in there for it to do there, there was only the mirror.</p><p>It was only in the mirror that it could see the others. </p><p>It wasn’t alone in Black Space, but it was the only one who was on that side of the mirror. Some were horrible, some were lovely, most were somewhere in between…</p><p>But none of them were abominations like it was.</p><p>It moved its gaze to itself, it’s formless black body being broken only by two white eyes. It was just off color from the emptiness around it, its form being almost visible if it focused. </p><p>The other monsters would laugh at it sometimes. Mock it for its weakness, for being so pathetic so as to sit in front of the mirror and beg for their attention… but it didn’t care. Not enough to stop. It was lonely, it wanted <em> any </em> kind of attention. </p><p>Its time was up.</p><p>The black void around it started to turn red. </p><p>It knew it shouldn’t look.</p><p>It knew what would be behind it.</p><p>It turned around anyways.</p><p>Red, terrified eyes were watching her.</p><p>Its sin was watching it.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay, M̷̧͊̾̒̄̅́͝͝a̷̠̼̰͗̾̑̈́͋̄̈́͌̎̏̌̾͝r̵̡̧̢̪̺̙̱͉̭̽͜ͅi̶̫͓̻͕̔͊̅͑͠͝” the Watcher said, “It’s going to be okay, M̷̨̛̳̹̏̋̋͊͛͜a̶̞̫͎̜̩͗̅̈́̿̉̅̍͌̾͘̚̚ŗ̶͔͔̠̥̼͉͎̬̈́̉̈́͌̒̋̚i̷̜̯̲̣̪͌”</p><p>Crimson blood started to drip from the Watcher’s head, gushing from its nose and skull, dripping on the black expanse below it. </p><p>The Monster looked up at it, unable to move. The Watcher approached it, seeming to grow taller and taller, towering over it where it stood. </p><p>In its hand, it held the bow of a violin, its tip sharpened to the point of being a weapon.</p><p> </p><p>"It's going to be okay, M̵̝͉̪̗̥̤̺̥̩͐̒̈́̿̀̃͂̅̚̕̚ͅa̴̝̺̼͈̳̦̹̺̟̰̿̍̃̚͝r̷̨̫̼̠̝͇͈̝͙͖̳͈̖͇̅͂͌́͋̄̈́̓͒͒̐͛̒̋͜͝ǐ̸̧̠͕̥̀̈́̇͘ͅ."</p><p> </p><p>It stabbed the Monster in the eyes.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mari opened her own eyes. Another morning. Another day with Sunny’s bed empty.</p><p>Another day she’d have to go down the stairs to reflect on what she’d done.</p><p>She gripped the railing like her life depended on it, sneaking down the stairs to avoid waking her parents. </p><p> </p><p>“Mrowr.” Mewo purred, brushing against Mari’s leg as she continued down. Mari all but squealed in fear, choking the noise down as best as she could. Once her legs stopped shaking, she continued to the bottom.</p><p>Mewo was paying a lot of attention to her, following the “accident.” She usually bothered Sunny for attention, but now that he was gone…</p><p>Gone. Sunny was gone. He might not ever return.</p><p>She made it shakily to the bottom of the stairs, Mewo padding off to the kitchen. She was supposed to eat, right? Her stomach was shaking, roaring for any sort of sustenance. </p><p> </p><p>Cereal, that’d do right? </p><p>She opened the fridge, ignoring the head she saw at the bottom. It had been there for the last two days. It wasn’t Sunny, even if it looked like him. She grabbed the milk, turning away and setting it on the table along with a bowl, a spoon, and the plain corn flakes they had. It was just something to scrape by, hardly a real meal… </p><p>Mewo was crying at her feet for milk, even though the last time Mari had obliged in this Mewo had vomited profusely. Mari scratched behind her ears, drawing a purr from the cat. </p><p>The stupid cat didn’t realize the weight of everything that was going on.</p><p> </p><p>She felt nausea rising in her gut. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Basil sat in the room next to Sunny. It had been one week, and even though the rest of his condition was stable… he hadn’t woken up yet. Basil watched intently as his chest rose and fell, as if at any moment it would suddenly stop, despite the heart rate monitor regularly beeping.</p><p>Sunny… </p><p>He wasn’t supposed to touch him, but Basil rested his hand inside Sunny’s, feeling the familiar sensation of their fingers locking together. </p><p>“Sunny, if you can hear me… I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>The question was answered only by silence. </p><p>Basil felt a tear drag down his cheek. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to be okay, right? I… I don’t know if I could lose you so soon after… that.” he said, nervously coughing as his face flushed. </p><p>Sunny’s hand twitched, snapping Basil out of his lovey dovey stupor. It was just a twitch, just a slight motion, but… </p><p>He wasn’t sure if he was crying tears of joy or sadness.</p><p>“Everything is going to be okay, right Sunny?”</p><p>Basil slowly traced his thumb over the back of Sunny’s hand, trying to take in the familiar feeling as often as he could. It… wasn’t wrong to sneak a kiss, was it? They were kind of dating, even if they hadn’t both officially said it yet. They’d been on dates, they’d kissed, they’d… they’d… </p><p> </p><p>Maybe not the right time to think about it, that was… a bit much for sitting crying in a hospital room.</p><p>Basil leaned over Sunny’s sleeping face.</p><p>He looked so… peaceful. Was he dreaming? If he was, about what? </p><p>…</p><p>Basil kissed the one he loved as though it would be the last time.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>White Space was… different now. </p><p> </p><p>Sunny had used it as a safe haven in his mind, a place to relax when the world was too much for him. It was never anything more. Besides, in either world Mewo would be there to bother him for attention. </p><p>Right now though, all the things he was used to were… scattered, broken. He couldn’t remember why. His right leg stung intensely, like a knife was being driven through it. He grasped at the pieces of the laptop he’d imagined for himself, the keys missing entirely. It wasn’t <em> broken </em> per se, just… deconstructed. He wasn’t a tech expert, but it wasn’t like he had much else to do. He couldn’t leave, the door out was locked. He let his hurting leg hang out straight, resting his chin on his left as he worked. He’d have to find the keys later. </p><p> </p><p>After what could have been hours or just a few minutes, the device sprang to life.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> Welcome to the Hanged Man’s Game.  </em> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Odd, he never remembered anything like this… </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> Find the pieces of your mind to remember the truth. </em>   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“The truth of what…?” he whispered to himself, closing the laptop confused. It was a problem he couldn’t solve without finding the keys it seemed. </p><p>“Waiting for something to happen?” Mewo spoke, her voice as demeaning as he had always imagined it would be.</p><p>Something fell inside White Space. </p><p> </p><p>Sunny stood up, looking out in the direction the noise had come from. He walked over, stopping before a key and a knife.</p><p>He picked them up, looking back over his shoulder to see…</p><p>There was something behind him. </p><p> </p><p>It was short, compared to him at least, seemingly almost like a mass of black hair with eyes. </p><p>Why… Why did his head hurt so much all of a sudden?</p><p>His leg and back flared with pain. </p><p>He lost his balance. </p><p>He fell backwards.</p><p>He never made contact with the ground.</p><p> </p><p>He was back in the center of White Space.</p><p>Mewo was resting on his stomach. </p><p>Did… did he have a nightmare inside of his own mind? </p><p>He felt the weight of the knife in his hand.</p><p>No, there was something in here with him, something tied to what he was forgetting…</p><p> </p><p>But what was he forgetting?</p><p> </p><p>It seemed to be in the back of his head, just out of reach. He set the knife down on top of his laptop, he might need it when he returned. </p><p>He slid the key into the lock of the door. </p><p>With a twist, he heard the lock click. The other side was pure darkness, like it always was. </p><p>He stepped inside (Outside? Was White Space the inside or outside? He still wasn’t sure after years pondering it.), letting go as his consciousness left the safe haven of his internal world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Trip Down Memory Lane</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first thing Sunny realized was that he was wet, the second was that he didn’t actually wake up. He stared out down a seemingly endless bridge, blacked out street lights standing at regular intervals every five or so meters. Rain fell from above in rapid, tiny droplets, soaking the pajamas he always wore in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With nothing else to do, Sunny walked down the street, even as his leg pained him. Suddenly, two lights ahead of him flared to life. He stopped, hesitantly walking underneath one. In an instant, his vision went white.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, Sunny!” Everyone yelled, hopping up from hiding places around the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mari ran up to him, she was still 10 at the time, and wrapped him in a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Big bro, look what we got you!” Mari said, taking his hand and leading him past everyone towards the large present on the coffee table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aubrey, Basil and I had to pitch in a bit, buuuuut…” Kel said with a giant grin, “You’ll see!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All his friends and family were smiling around him as he grabbed at the paper containing the gift. Inside was a glossy black case, and within that, a violin. He felt a smile grasp at his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks guys.” he said simply. It certainly beat his old small one, even if he’d need to do more practice to adjust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No time like the present to start.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunny was jolted back to the long road, his face resting in a puddle. He pulled himself to his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was the point of this? Was this going to make him wake up? He thought back to the odd game on his computer. As he took a step forward, he felt something weigh down in his pocket…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A keyboard key. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could recognize it as soon as his hand slipped over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had a long way to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock. Knock. Knock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock. Knock. Knock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mari had gotten used to ignoring the noise. Sometimes, if she was already close, she’d peek out, but she wouldn’t answer. When her parents were awake, they were getting nosy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She needed a place to hide, a place for her body to escape while her mind faced the punishment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock. Knock. Knock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock. Knock. Knock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whoever it was was staying longer this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did they want to help? She couldn’t let them, she didn’t deserve their help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A murderer doesn’t deserve a victim’s pity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock. Knock. Knock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock. Knock. Knock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could hear muffled whispers slipping through the cracks of the door, reaching her even in the dining room. So it was more than one person? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tiptoed over to peer through the doorhole. It was Kel and Aubrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tap on the glass sliding door caused her to jump, looking over her shoulder to see an equally shocked Basil staring back at her. She scrambled out of sight as Basil turned and ran back around the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock Knock. Knock Knock. Knock Knock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knock Knock. Knock Knock. Knock Knock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were banging far more rapidly now. It’d draw her parent’s attention soon enough. They’d surely let the three in if they asked, she couldn’t… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone was coming down the stairs. Mari snuck into the kitchen to bypass her mother as she went for the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Miss Suzuki.” Aubrey said, “We were looking for Mari.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t leave the kitchen now without being seen again, without having to listen to what they’d want to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d have to run for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Run… up the stairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her breathing got heavier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was staring at her from the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Sunny, even if it looked like him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It slid down, stepping closer and closer to Mari as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s… stairs… show…” Mari’s mother said, the words fizzling out in Mari’s mind as she panicked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... Saw her… room.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More words flew through the air as Something leaned down on its knees to whisper into Mari’s ear, “It’s going to be okay, Mari.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sobbed, oblivious to the words and concerned gasps of those around her. Hands were grabbing at her, threatening to take her away. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to be taken like Sunny was. Dragged to a to sleep until she was finally killed without even knowing she was still alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was pulling at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t want to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It kept tugging. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She fought back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It pulled harder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was more than one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was losing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were going to take her away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something was crushing her now, a grasp wrapped around her body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three more joined.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t recognize their touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay away from me…” she whispered, as her mind went dark. She couldn’t open her eyes. Their words were incomprehensible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hands alternately tapping each of her shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her breathing slowed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way Sunny would calm her down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Basil sat before her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mari…” he whispered, his expression hard to make out through her own tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to deal with this alone, Mari. He’s alive, that’s all that matters, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t answer, sniffing and trying to wipe away her tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sunny does this to help me, I’m… hoping it's helping you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She silently nodded, not wanting to accept his kindness but not having any choice in the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sunny would kill us if we let anything happen to you, you know.” Aubrey said. “We’re here for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! And we’ll keep coming back until you’re like your old self again!” Kel said with a grin, “Good thing Mrs. Suzuki opened up, eh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mari remained silent, taking in the attention she knew she didn’t deserve. It felt good, and that was the problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She deserved to suffer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were wasting their time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Sunny woke up, they’d realize this time was for nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was too weak to stop them though. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for doing this, Sunny.” Mari said, resting against Sunny’s side. The beach trip was a bit of a pain to get together, but seeing everyone happy made it worth it in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, I think I can feel myself getting a sunburn even through the sunscreen.” Basil groaned, flopping down in the shade next to Sunny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Need help putting more on?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I think I just need to stay out of the sun.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you went and sat next to Sunny?” Mari teased, “Leave my big brother alone, it’s sibling bonding time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha, sorry, sorry…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, get along you two.” Sunny said, watching Kel, Hero and Aubrey play out in the water. Poor Kel was getting splashed from two directions, three if you counted the waves getting him from behind. He loved it though, judging by the giant grin on his face as he fought back with the water around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mari, why don’t you go and join them? I think Kel needs a bit of help.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just wanna talk to Basil, don’t you?” Mari pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah. I can’t lie to you.” Sunny said, “But I also really just think Kel would like the help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meanie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, let me talk to my friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s my friend too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please Mari? It’s probably important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fiiiiiine. You better tell me later though!” She said, standing up and running over to join the other three in the water. Poor Hero didn’t see it coming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So then, what did you want to talk about Sunny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was… thinking about us. All of us. What we’re gonna be doing in a few years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Sunny. You just turned fourteen, you shouldn’t have to worry about those kinds of things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do anyway though,” Sunny said, “You guys… are the most important thing in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sunny…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had an idea though, what if we like… started a band?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With a violin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’d be our thing, you know? Aubrey has her dad’s old drum set, doesn’t she?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no telling how well it’ll work though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be fun if nothing else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t like loud noises.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it’s nicer when it’s everyone making it. Besides, a violin is pretty loud and I have that right next to my face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re… unique, Sunny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the inside maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, more than that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You attaching tulips to me disagrees.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H-Hey! You can be plain and handsome!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’m handsome now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stoooooop…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another memory. This one was a few years after the last one, the summer before last. The one where Aubrey shattered a watermelon with her knee, to the awe of everyone present. The same trip where Aubrey ended up meeting Kim, and by extent a lot of her other friends. Sunny was happy she was able to link up with so many people so easily, even if he wasn’t surprised in the slightest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was also the same trip where everyone buried him in the sand, and Kel yelled that he was the “Sand Guardian”. He might not have been a comic book hero, but he was certainly warm. Too warm, actually, considering he’d ended up with a fever because of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was the point of all this? Where was this road leading him too? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did he forget that was so important?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Monster and its Sin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Sunny! Sunny! It’s snowing!” Mari laughed, tugging him out of bed, “C’mon! We gotta go get everyone and make a big snowman!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see if it snows enough for one.” Sunny chuckled, stretching as he stood up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This memory was further back, a few months after he’d gotten his violin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mari’s smile… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was always a treat to him when she was happy. He never thought much of his own smiles, he didn’t really use it often for a multitude of reasons, but Mari’s seemed to light up whatever space she was in. She should have been named Sunny, and he could have been something befitting someone as generic as him… like Steven. Maybe Robert. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to get through whatever was keeping him out so he could see her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mari quickly pulled on multiple layers, including an extra jacket under her coat. Sunny took a far more deliberate route, picking out specific warm clothes he had so he would be able to actually move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Also, he wasn’t greatly overestimating the chill like his sister was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a quick breakfast (requiring Mari to take off a few layers to actually be able to eat,) the two headed next door to grab Kel and Hero. Kel walked out in a jersey and basketball shorts, stopped, then immediately turned around and ran upstairs. Hero walked out actually prepared, offering to stay with Mari while Sunny ran to get Aubrey and Basil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Faraway was always pretty beautiful to Sunny, but especially so when it snowed. Sunny loved winter, even discounting snow and Christmas. He enjoyed the cold, and he enjoyed being at home with people he cared about rather than constantly out and about. He was fine just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>being</span>
  </em>
  <span> with someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thank god for boots though, he couldn’t imagine going through this in sneakers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always went to Basil’s first. No real reason why, it was just a habit of his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knocked, standing back while Basil opened the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey Sunny…” he said, “Um… I don’t think I can go out. Not… not today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… Grandma. She doesn’t feel good.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Sunny thought, “I’ll tell you what. I’ll be back, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sunny?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still had a message to carry for Aubrey, but he knew what he was going to be doing that day, or rather who he was going to be spending it with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the first time him and Basil had held hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together in his kitchen, two people who were not chefs trying to make soup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t intentional, but when they both noticed…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t bother to pull apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he still didn’t get the point of these memories. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d been through a few now, but it wasn’t going together in his head what they all meant. The collection of keys in his pocket was what, seven now? He pulled them out and counted to be sure. Would he have to do all 26 letters? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would happen when he did?</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been staring into the mirror and awfully long time now for someone with no eyes.” The Watcher said, taunting the Monster from the darkness. It could feel them regrowing, slowly but surely, but then something else would surely be taken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like always.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eyes, ears, hands, feet, nose, tongue, all were removed by the Watcher’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All in judgement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All regrown to be removed again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It should have been in pain, but it knew that it deserved all of this deep down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It deserved to feel the warmth of its own blood on its skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It deserved to know what it was like to not be able to see, to not hear the Watcher approaching, to not be able to run, to not be able to even try to speak back, all of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking its hands was symbolic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first time it tried to fight back, the Watcher took two things from it, its hands and eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever it seemed it was going to resist, it lost its hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finger by finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bone by bone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scream by scream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By this point, it had stopped fighting back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no point in resisting its punishment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Monsters get what they deserve. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was what it knew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some monsters were lucky enough to be killed, to have their lives ended by execution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It deserved worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to be okay, M̷͈͒̃̇̈́̾͐͠a̷̤̼̯͉̰̳͈͐͛̆͛̿͐́̓̇̽͐̈́͛̕r̴̨̧̼̦̳̘̯̬͎͑͜͜i̷̧̗̬͈̲̮̲̯̤͐̔͌̓̔͂͗̀͆͗̑͘̚͜͠ͅ.” the Watcher said, its cold breath sliding over its shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a name.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you do. Your name is M̸̨̹̭͚̟̫̯͍̫̻̞̐̃̎̈́͂̔̔̎͘͘ą̷̭͕̪͇̞͕̥̳̒̇̍́͗̆ͅr̴̨̹̤͍͍̙͚͖̺̀̌̾̽̉̃̈̏̕i̸͍͙̣͕̗̦̪̥̳̲͎̮̱̼͓͐̒̋͋̽͋͝͠. You’re a murderer. You made the people who loved you suffer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay that I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I belong here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Black Space exists to contain monsters. This is your home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not… home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Watcher placed a hand around its neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was going to take the Monster’s throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It tried to speak back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another punishment for another sin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The claws pierced its esophagus, an unearthly squelch emitting as it tried to scream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mari’s eyes opened. It was incredibly dark. Something was staring at her from the darkness of the doorway. She stared back. They’d practiced this little game for a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she lost, it’d wait for her on the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After several minutes, it gave up for the time and left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could get water now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her sleep schedule had been irreparably destroyed by the things that appeared around her, but that was fine. She was back in school now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She made sure everyone else stayed away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d think she was weird, but that was still better than the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hero… </span>
  <span>Hero ran away from her when he saw her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the classes they shared, he had gotten himself moved away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated her, like everyone else would soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She let the tap water fill a plastic cup. Time to do the homework she hadn’t before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that it mattered, it never really did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was always the problem child, no matter how hard she tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunny was effortlessly perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnificent, kind, handsome (if you asked Basil anyways)...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kept a cool distance from most, able to hide how he felt when he needed to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the best big brother she could have asked for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she murdered him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter if he was “alive”, he was worse than dead. He was stuck in place, unable to move on, unable to rest, stuck in whatever mental torment his mind had created. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must have been thinking of how she’d pushed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With all of her hatred blazing on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d cried too much in the past month to do so any more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she hid how she felt, maybe she could replace him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s what everyone wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t able to avoid everyone by locking them out, so she simply slept instead. Let her get the punishment she deserved instead of unworthy love and attention. She knew they tried to visit, that they hated having to talk to two sleeping people…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was better that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would be best if they just forgot about her, but until then this would have to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mind drifted to the piano. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She loved it, even as she hated it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was something that just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>spoke</span>
  </em>
  <span> to her, in a way. She loved the idea of being a pianist, when it went well she loved it…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she wasn’t good enough to make it go well often. Sunny always tried to say he didn’t start good at the violin, but as far as she can remember he’d just been more musically inclined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She envied him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to be as perfect as he was to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The model older sibling, interested in nothing more than taking care of the people he loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could never be him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was too obsessed with herself to ever do so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too selfish…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t focus on school work right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was watching in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room where she was sitting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their little game began again.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Basil looked over Sunny’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hair was growing longer now, longer than he would have wanted realistically, but that wasn’t what was on Basil’s mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was was how these trips became lone endeavors more and more often.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aubrey, Kel, and him all visiting together went from a daily visit to every few days, to now weekly from the look of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they visited alone more often, but Basil couldn’t tell. He was the only one who visited daily still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mari… Mari never visited at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She must’ve blamed herself, somehow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Hero was there too, there was no way it was their fault. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would have said something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please wake up, Sunny. I… I need you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Basil always made sure Sunny knew, even if he couldn’t respond. He knew it was invasive to sneak kisses on someone in a coma, but they’d been “together” so long, even if they’d never made it official. He needed Sunny’s touch. He hated being so clingy, but it was the truth of the matter. If he lost Sunny, he’d lose a part of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It… It would take him a long time to recover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair for the world to just take him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To keep him here seemingly just to stop Basil from starting to heal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But… thinking like that just made Basil think that Sunny could die. His parents could have to pull life support. Anything could happen between now and when he woke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d already been preparing what to do when Sunny woke up, even if he had to keep the flowers fresh himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Basil cupped Sunny’s right hand in his own hands, feeling over the fingers of the one he loved. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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